Sitting here beaming with pride as my daughter gets ready to accept another award based on her academic achievements.
Back to the daily grind after an impromptu mid-week jaunt to Niagara Falls to regroup, recoup and refocus.
But before I did I took a weekend trip to Wellington, ON with the kiddos on what was a scorcher to check out Elora Quarry one of top five quarries in Ontario.
It was a bit crowded for me but the water was crisp and offered much needed relief.
Live in love, Twanna
Gone are the lazy summer days and the missed opportunities to make sure I’ve filled the summer weekends with fun filled activities that two teenaged kids would be interested in doing.
This summer I promised to spend as much time with my kids as possible before I saw my daughter off to university and ushered my son into his first year of high school. What did they say about the best laid plans of mice and men?
Each summer it’s the same promise, next time, next summer, we’ll be sure to squeeze it all in. But as they grow up and grow out the reality is my kids have less time for me and a personal social life of their own.
The long summer nights are dwindling down now and the crisp air of autumn ( I heard some one say this sounded much better than fall) is creeping in. I’m now faced with the impending prospect of soon-to-be empty nester.
It’s four years away for now and besides there’s always next summer.
Saw this. Had to share ..
Failing and Flying
By Jack Gilbert
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It’s the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly.
Like being there by that summer ocean
on the other side of the island while
love was fading out of her, the stars
burning so extravagantly those nights that
anyone could tell you they would never last.
Every morning she was asleep in my bed
like a visitation, the gentleness in her
like antelope standing in the dawn mist.
Each afternoon I watched her coming back
through the hot stony field after swimming,
the sea light behind her and the huge sky
on the other side of that. Listened to her
while we ate lunch. How can they say
the marriage failed? Like the people who
came back from Provence (when it was Provence)
and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.
I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell,
but just coming to the end of his triumph.
Jack Gilbert, “Failing and Flying” from Refusing Heaven. Copyright © 2005 by Jack Gilbert. Used by permission of Alfred A. Knopf, an imprint of the Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
Source: Refusing Heaven (Alfred A. Knopf, 2005)
back to top
Discover this poem’s context and related poetry, articles, and media.
Living, Growing Old, Marriage & Companionship, Midlife, Separation & Divorce, Love, Relationships, Home Life, Men & Women, Mythology & Folklore, Heroes & Patriotism
But I catch myself. Soon she will be off on her own 4 -year adventure to discover who she is as a young woman in this world. I have focused on getting her to this very moment when she embarks on her academic journey and I suddenly realize that I need to get a life.
I have devoted my life to my children, as I should, but have neglected to take care of me as much. The realization that both my children will soon be grown and getting on with their lives has prompted me to get on with my own.
I have been in a holding pattern for the past 8 years and it’s time to live a little!
As many struggle to comprehend the senseless violence which occurred at the Pulse club in Orlando I am of two minds. I struggle to reconcile the indoctrination I received as a child about what being gay looks like with the reality that in my own family there are people who are afraid to be out.
Afraid to be out because our Jamaican culture frowns on this and views it as deviant, sinful behaviour.
My own sister and brother are both gay.
This is the first time I have said this out loud. And despite what I have always been told I still love them.
I hugged and cried with my sister when she first told me and I reassured her that I still loved her. Then I sat with my daughter (wise beyond her years) to discuss this and asked, “How do you feel about knowing your aunt is gay?”
Her reply; “She is still the same person.”
She said it so simply, so succinctly. SHE IS STILL THE SAME PERSON. The same person I grew up with spending many summer days by the beach or catching up on studies (yes! even during the summer) with as a child. She was the same person I traveled with each day to prep school and encouraged when it came time to prepare for our exams to enter high school. She was my playmate, my friend, my sister. And she is gay.
Yet she is still the same person . Nothing had changed the day she told me this except she was able to step into her own truth, to live a more fulfilled, authentic and happy life.
So I do not understand the violence of this past weekend. I reject any notion that being gay means you are less worthy. Less worthy of love, kindness, freedom or whatever else some hate-filled mind or heart could think or feel.
Live in Love, Twanna
I created this space about 6 or so many years ago and it was intended to chronicle my new found status of being single in the city. Oh the fun I would have! Instead it lay dormant for many years. After all I had envisioned that I would have experienced many fun and fabulous things.
My reality however, was that I had sunk into a depression and was lost. Who was I without the person I had loved for so many years?
I think I have closed myself to experiencing great things in my life and had chosen to shut out any opportunity that would cause me pain. EVER. But the reality is we can’t cocoon ourselves from that experience. It serves a purpose in helping us to grow and learn more about who we are. In fact, I discovered I was far more courageous than I gave myself credit for. I became (more )resilient. It was in me all the time I just did not know it.
As I face the reality of my first born heading off to university in the fall I contemplate the hypocrisy of my words of advice for her to try new things, to say yes to every opportunity that will enable her to grow and reach her full potential and to cease any word, thought or action that may be self -limiting. Hey, why am I not heeding my own words.
So I am committing to start living life to the fullest, to move forward in spite of fear and to just be.
As my son aptly penned a note in my iPhone, I was here. And I’m damned sure going to make my life matter.
Live in Love, Twanna